Thursday, July 29, 2010

First Date Advice?

ok so my first date hasn't happened but when it does i want 2 b prepared.First Date Advice?
No kissing.First Date Advice?
Sorta chill. Where? Make it a public place preferrably during the daytime. Kiss - definitely avoid that. Gussy up? Look nice but avoid going all-out unless he's showing up in a suit or tuxedo and taking you to a formal affair (most likely not).





Here's the thing. A first date has one purpose and one purpose only. To find out if there's reasonable cause for a second date.





IF you do this you will save yourself a lot of time, headaches, heartaches and possibly money over the course of your life. If you fail to follow this advice you will probably wind up like most Americans - divorced, with messed up kids, and a whole lot poorer in the end.





Take charge. First, make sure you know yourself and what you really want out of both life and a relationship. Write down your non-negotiables. What are non-negotiables?





Here are mine for an example: she must be Christian, both tobacco/drug free, absolutely love physical exercise, follow macrobiotics and last (but not least) want a big family. Besides generally 'having her act together' she should also be optimistic, have a great sense of humor and be intelligent.





Figure out what your non-negotiables are and write them down. Dating is for one purpose only. To find out if you're compatible and want the same things. Sex gets in the way. If you, as the woman, allow sex to cloud the relationship (before you know each other) then you'll lose. So will he. It's what I call a lose-lose relationship.





Sex is good but you'll have to figure out exactly what I'm talking about for yourself.





Consider coming up with a 'fun card.' A fun card is like a business card for dating. It has your name and a contact number (not a work or home number). Voice mail is good. Cell phone not so good. Why? Because sometimes you meet guys that seem okay but are anything but okay. So protect yourself first. This will serve you well as you head out into the world and into the world of dating.





Again, the women has to take charge. Most guys will go out with whoever will go out with them and sleep with whoever will sleep with them. Be selective.





A fun card includes several items: on the backside, things you enjoy doing for fun that are free or less than $5 total. They also can be done in about 15 minutes or so. And: big clue here, can be done in public during daylight hours.





Mine are: walking through the park and feeding the ducks, flying a kite, playing with my dog, collecting acorns (depending on season, I grow trees for a hobby), jogging in the park and lastly laying on the grass watching clouds.





Okay, so they're a little goofy maybe but then so am I. Don't like goofy and you won't like me.





Work on meeting people and chatting. Clue: a good handshake and solid eye contact are invaluable. There's only a few things worse than a young lady who finger shakes instead of a full handshake. There's a web between your thumb and your forefinger. Make web contact every time!





Practice introducing yourself to strangers. Go to a church and practice on old married men. They'll love it and you'll get over any anxiety you may have about walking up to strangers.





Women must take charge!





Once you've got your ';hello, my name is Eric'; down perfect you can start practicing on younger guys. If you're still skiddish walk into a room and look for a guy who is sitting looking a little sheepish or standing with no one talking to him. Try practicing some more.





If you meet someone you think you might want to see again give them your card. Flip it over for them to see the fun stuff on the backside. After they meet you the only women they will forget (names or alltogether) will be other women because you were probably the first to greet them, introduce yourself and give them your fun card with a phone number on it.





Let them know ';I'll planning on being in the park this coming Saturday. So if you'd like to join me just call me.'; That's something about how my line goes anyway. This is where you walk away especially if you're out in public or at any event/location where other people are around. (If they guy does follow you turn and face him. Tell him ';Listen, give me a call sometime if you want to get together and do something fun. But I came here to meet some people I don't know and I noticed another guy that I want to meet also so I'll catch up with you later.'; Then turn and walk towards someone else.





This will definitely get his attention. Because you've sent a clear message that you're looking to date people. If he fails to call you oh well. In one week's time (school, work, stores, anywhere) you can meet enough decent men and have enough dates lined up that you'll always have a waiting list. Unless you live in a truly rural area. In that case you might want to seriously consider going to college in a large town to a metropolitan area whether the college is small or large itself.





Always keep in the habit of introducing yourself and have plenty of fun cards in stock.





When they call and you check your messages (voicemail!) you'll know they're interested. YEAH! Ideally, a first date should last maybe fifteen minutes.





In this time period, (again in public place during the daytime) you should be able to do something fun (break the ice) together and casually have a conversation about ';what you're looking for in a relationship'; by going over your non-negotiables and asking him about his.





I do this pretty slowly to avoid any appearance that this is really an interrogation. This is where you should be laughing! If you're not say 'bah humbug!'





I'll mention something like ';you know Cindy, I'm really looking for a serious relationship and if I found 'the one' and she felt the same way I'm ready for marriage. What about you? (Open ended questions always get a much better response than close ended.) After she says whatever she says I usually go into my first non-negotiable which is sometimes much smoother with some than with others. I do this one by one in a low key way while we're enjoying whatever it is we're doing and getting her responses to the same topics by asking her if she fails to simply offer a response after I've shared this with her.





Before you know it, you've actually had a decent first date, without any sexual pressure, where you also had a meaningful conversation and are able to determine whether a second date is in order.





You take it from there. But whatever you do respect yourself by setting your rules and sticking to them. Many things in life are negotiable but why settle for whatever/whoever comes along that fails to have all their ducks in a row and might end up messing up your life simply because you failed to set a higher standard for who you will really date and spend quality time with?
be ready to ride his pony
#4. Take a chill pill.





You dont need to plan ';where your first kiss will be'; ... if its planned then it wont be as romantic and sponaneous.





as for how you will dress up- just dress casual in jeans, etc.. unless you are going out to a fancy restaurant.





You could put on some make up only if you want- be classy casual but not too fancy.
don't think so much and worried when it happened will happen.. OK.. in my first date i didn't plan it my b.f plane it to me so don't worry, and u asking if u must to kiss no one will know just u and him. so step by step will answer yourself in these questions k.
Ask questions about him, let him know you're interested. Keep eye contact - important. Don't babble, guys get irritated when girls do that. Don't talk about your whole life history since age three. Compliment him on his shoes, watch, necklace, bag or cellphone. End the date on a positive note, when you feel that the date is going to drag and be boring, end it. You will know when the first kiss will be, usually at the end of the date. A gesture like touching him on the arm or something really sets the sparks. Smile every now and then. Don't wear too much crap on your face. And when you do kiss him, don't swallow him, a quick gentle kiss is the best and leaves him wanting more. Good luck and have fun! ;)
The best advise is to be yourself. Do not try to impress anyone, by faking to be someone you are not. Just be yourself and if the other person gets impress of who you are there would be not problem. Just be YOURSELF and it always works. Good luck.
no chill pill n no kissing 4 ur first dating.u've to be a simple dress but look beautiful,polite n always smile so u can give him good impression.the best place 4 dating is in a cafe where the light there is not quite ok.u 2 can enjoy the atmosphere there.it's fun.





best wishes n happy new year.
for a first date it should be fun you know kinda just to get to know the person make it a long one dont go to a movie where you cant talk make your first date at something like mini golf or batting cages or something fun and exciting that you may not be all great at so you can test the chemistry a first date is meant to get to know one another and if by the end of the date you feel alot of chemistry a first kiss is good but just go with the flow and dont rush into things if you feel there is no need
be yourself and just simple. and smile but don't forget to brush your teeth:D
OK, putting the questions in the details is not a good idea. The details don't show when we try to answer. Anyway:





Do u have any advice on:


1.where it should be





Coffee or fast food only.





2.Should i have my 1st kiss?





Maybe. It's not necessary though.





3.Should i gussy up?





If you mean have sex, then NO! You shouldn't do that before marriage anyway.





4.Take a Chill Pill





Yes, you're worrying too much.





5.Other Advice?





Don't talk about other guys. Don't EVER stand anyone up. If you can't make it, call to let the other person know.





Good luck!
ANSWER: 4. Take Chill Pill
since your the girl. play the guys game.





take him on a place where it is quiet and very private.


just be yourself. do not put too much make up.


just your ordinary self.


answer his questions, and ask him back.


do not expect to have your first kiss on the 1st date.


let him control your date.


bring condoms.
go somewhere where you can socialize like bowling, minigolfing, ice skating rtc. its a good idea to double with someone else because then there wont be as many aquard silenses and/or word vomit. just be yourself and relax, he isnt exactly calm either. dont realy cont on getting a first kiss on the first date because that can set the whole relationship on the wrong note.


Just be yourself.


ps. its probably a good idea to bring some breathmints...


Good luck, hope all will go well!!
in ihop or dennys but dont kiss him well yea guys want to be kissed but just w8 till he kisses u and then u will now how old r u?
Be yourself it's always a good thing, besides he's gonna be nervous too so dont worry just relax....
Be yourself...don't try to be someone else. If you pretend to be someone else your true self will show sooner or later. He/she should like you the way you're. In that way there's no hiding and everything is open and no secretes. Go somewhere nice and it need not be an expensive place. When it comes to romance let it be natural and do not plan it. Because romance is a natural thing. You will know when you know.
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